in reverse
by Judithan
Summary: You know that it didn't happen in this timeline. You know that it wasn't your fault, or your brother's. You know that there wasn't anything that anyone could have done to stop it. Accidents are called accidents for a reason, but this one will haunt you for the rest of your existences. Time shenanigans. Gaster headcanons. Spoilers.


day xx

People in Snowdin have just accepted you into their lives. Nothing changes. No humans have been spotted in weeks, possibly. You're not sure anymore. The days blend together as though nothing happens, yet everything is happening.

You can feel your eye pulsating still, the pain seems to be nothing more than a dull ache at this point, but you want so badly for this feeling of dread to go away.

day 13

Two weeks since the accident, you and your brother have become accustomed to life on your own -but haven't you always been alone? What accident was it that happened? What was it that you were even thinking about just now?

Your head hurts.

Your eye hurts.

You sleep it off.

day 11

In the basement you find what he had been working on, a machine that could change the entire war against the humans. A skull, or at least that's what it looks like. You don't know how to works, but have a bad, bad, _bad_ feeling about what it can do. Instead, you elect to cover it with a cloth and neglect ever telling your brother about it. He doesn't know about it, and it's better that way.

Time seems to still when you're in the basement, almost like being in a void. It feels like you're being watched.

Looking through the drawers you find a blueprint for the machine and sprawl it out. It's written in hands.

Your eye hurts.

You leave the basement immediately.

day 10

Papyrus seems to have forgotten everything about the incident. It's better this way. What he doesn't know can't hurt him, right? He doesn't possess the SOUL anyway.

That's your burden alone to bear.

It's so heavy in your chest, it hurts.

day 8

Your brother has locked himself in his room again, he keeps saying that he's having horrifying visions. He remembers the man.

He remembers the accident.

He remembers the lab.

He remembers the man - that's all he keeps saying. On repeat, on repeat, on repeat. Eventually the lull of his words puts himself to sleep, and he sleeps heavy.

Sometime later in the day you leave the house, heading to grillby's. You sit by yourself. You eat alone. The chatter in the bar makes the pain in your eye go away, but only for just a moment.

The man's face haunts you.

day 5

You wake up from a dream -rather, a nightmare. You can still see his face as he pushes you away, falling into the core. His eyes full of desperation, his lips curled up into a sick smile of sorts. Everything about it disgusts you. That's all you can see anymore when you try to sleep. It's only been a few days since, but it feels like it's still happening.

You can feel his eyes on you.

The core couldn't have ended him that easily.

You can feel his presence still, but that could just be the other timeline's screaming. The ones who still suffer with him around, the 'you's that are infinitely being injected with that SOUL.

The 'you's scream out, infinitely.

Don't put the human SOUL in them.

Your eye hurts so much, you want to gouge it out.

day 2

Your brother and you are alone now.

Gaster is gone.

You've become numb, at least you think you have. You were already trying to adjust to the last experiment he placed upon you two, but you barely had hours to deal with that.

Fortunately, your brother's body didn't receive the SOUL as easily, and he's still the same, just rattled up.

You can feel your body surge every now and then, and it hurts.

Everything hurts.

day 0

You wake up from the experiment.

Your body feels so heavy you can't move for several minutes. Vision is swimming, and you feel like you would rather just die at this point.

"-" He asks how you feel. You tell him the truth, and he gives you a weird look.

"-" Through mumbled words you can make out what he has to say about your brothers condition.

Something inside of your clicks, and you can feel a sense of relief. It's like a weight has been lifted and all you can do is smile. The man responds well to that, giving his own twisted kind of wild-eye smile. His black, lifeless eyes make you uneasy, just as they always have.

"-" Tomorrow, he's going to go check on the core. Somewhere in his explanation, you zone out, but you catch something about 'a darkness in the core.' You don't give it much thought.

You're too busy focusing on assessing your feelings - a sense of fulfillment resonating in your entire body.

You are filled with… DETERMINATION.


End file.
